Shopsin's General Store, Essex Street Market.

          Shopsin's plate. Wiped completely clean.

Kenny Shopsin is the chef, owner and part-time dictator/tyrant of his unclassifiable East Village eatery. With a mostly bizarre 900-item menu which changes whenever he damn well feels like it and a set of house rules (no parties of over 4, everyone has to eat a meal, no mobile phone use) he certainly isn't a man to be taken lightly. 


So it was of no surprise when my girlfriend and I pitched up at 10.30am to be greeted by the sight of Kenny, resplendent in his 'Eat Me' t-shirt and red sweatband, guarding the entrance. Quietly we shuffled by, found a table for two and attempted to navigate the menu's many strange nooks & crannies. Effectively, I had had my mind made up for me by Nick 'Beef Aficionado' Solares, who writes so well on the subject of hamburgers and in particular, sliders (sliders, for the uninitiated, are explained by his excellent article). Nick's praise for Kenny Shopsin's version of the tiny, beef-onion-cheese wonders, "the best in New York" by all accounts, had me drooling in anticipation for what would be my first 'proper' sliders. Ever.

         A personal milestone. Sad, I know.


The wait was excruciating - my girlfriend's rich, spicy and all-around wonderful jambalaya arriving a good 10 minutes before my hamburgers appeared in front of me.


But soon my wait was over and now I'm able to get into specifics, so let 's start with the onions - surprisingly thick-cut and with the slightest hint of char, they had obviously spent some time in a deep-fat fryer and were all the better for it. The cheese is classic, yellow, American - no complaints at all. The meat, heavily marbled ground chuck from Jeffrey's (literally feet from Shopsin's kitchen) is frankly amazing. Seasoned then violently seared on the flat-top and finally nestled in to the perfect vehicle - the slightly sweet, yielding and near-mythical-in-the-UK Martin's Dinner Rolls (of which I have a small stash that I brought home with me in my freezer, a comforting thought) as soon as I had finished my first bite I'd like to think that I remarked "This is the best hamburger I have ever eaten" but really I was all too involved in eating to put together such a coherent sentence.


Kenny Shopsin seems to actively avoid any sort of publicity and would no doubt hate my efforts to translate his work from plate to mildly-annoying blog. But if you're on Manhattan, are good at obeying rules and are thrilled by the idea of having breakfast/lunch served to you with the very real possibility of a mild torrent of abuse then go. Really.